“Sit! Shake! Roll over! Bang!” Tricks For Treats is what I call them. 

I find it amazingly entertaining that dogs will do anything, and probably look rather stupid, for a crunchy bland dog biscuit.  Honestly, I can’t understand what’s so desirable about Milk Bones that will turn a normal, lazy dog into an acrobat at your command.  I’ve tried them; they’re not at all appetizing.

I recently acquired a roommate who is a complete and total cat-person. They’re the kind of people who I just don’t understand.  What good is a cat?  I have two large dogs that make fools of themselves for my entertainment (at least I hope it’s for my entertainment and not for those “treats”).  What does a cat do? If you ask a cat to “Bang!” and expect it to lie down and play dead, you’re going to be sorely disappointed when all you’ve received is a bite mark and a dirty look. 

Cats just don’t seem to understand their purpose in life…But then again, what’s their purpose?  Maybe that’s the problem with cats.  They don’t have a purpose, therefore, it has become acceptable to society for cats to be house-dwellers and potential speed bumps.  Granted, there are a few useful ones, I used to have a cat called BarnKitty.  Its name kind of gives away its purpose: to hold the barn down.  But eventually what happened to barn kitty is what eventually happens to the majority of its kind.  Speed bump. 

I think my bias toward them came from my dad, who told me when I was growing up that we couldn’t have one because he was allergic to them.  It wasn’t until I was grown that I found out that he was not allergic.  He just hates them because they are “Dirty little creatures with bad attitudes.”  I totally understand. 

Dogs have lots of purposes, including protection, companionship, entertainment, work, and hunting, among other things.   They are also greeting committees.  When a stranger comes to the house and is greeted by my two dogs, a dog lover is not alarmed.  He or she simply removes the majority of their arm from the mouth of my Labrador, which is his way of saying, “Hi! I’m Griffen! I’m gonna call you TastesLikeCheetos!” The proper response is to remove the saliva-bathed arm and deliver Hello-Blows to the rib cage of the dog, which would flatten a cat, might I add. 

This brings me to another point in the difference between cats and dogs: Toys.  Once you’ve been approved for admittance, a dog will bring you a toy to throw.  A cat toy, however, involves a lot of effort. You have to WANT to go find it, and you have to WANT to try to trick the cat into thinking it’s a bird or mouse on string… with a stick. Doesn’t make sense to me at all. 

Dogs just don’t care about a piece of fur or feathers on the end of a stick.  They want you to throw the entire thing far away so they can chase it and bring it back.  Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat. That’s activity.  A little naïve, yes, but still it’s activity. 

A cat person is highly offended by the offering of the sticky toy.  My roommate won’t touch a dog ball with a 10-foot pole, much less spend hours throwing it across the yard.  Good ol’ Griffen tries to get her involved in the family activities and brings her his golf ball and proceeds to dribble it on the hard wood floor at her feet until she finally has to kick it across the room or be miserably annoyed. 

Cat people also lack the enjoyment of the adventures of running errands with your pet.  Me, I take my mutt with me everywhere I can.  She’s always ready.  Quite frankly, I think she’d drive if I’d let her. 

On the flip side, I’ve had to accompany my roommate when she had to take her cat somewhere.  She becomes like one of those Garfield window clings.  You know the kind, spread eagle and obviously extremely freaked out.  It almost becomes necessary to hog tie her and hang her from the rear view mirror to keep her from maiming the driver and shredding everything in sight, including me. 

These are just some of the reasons that dogs are truly the better companion.  I have tried to prove the point to the cat lover at my house, but she just doesn’t get it.  We’re looking at fish for her.