Mixing friendship with work causes lack of respect

by Amelia Gonzales, feature editor

For some reason or another I have always been the type of person who gets advice and rather than listening to it, I do the total opposite of what the advice was.

I’ve worked as an assistant manager at a small retail store in the mall for a little more six years now. I’ve had the opportunity to work with at least 100 girls, due to the high turnover rate. I’ve met some really hard-working girls, and some really lazy ones as well. I’ve met some looking to make that job a long-time career, and some just looking for something that will get them through high school or college.

Then, there are those who I personally knew and put in a recommendation for them to work there. This, my dear readers, is where I happen to have ignored the advice I mentioned earlier.

Several people mentioned to me numerous times to never hire someone I knew, especially someone who I would consider a friend. I knew what they were saying was true, yet without hesitation I would do what I could do in order to help them find work. Friendships in the work environment just do not mix. On the other hand, when I completely ignore the advice and exceedingly talk about what a great worker so-and-so would be, I later end up asking myself over and over why I didn’t listen.

Several friends of mine have ended up being some of my worst enemies due to problems in the work place. It is unfortunate how insignificant issues end up costing some great friendships. I once lost a really great friend because I had asked her to mop while she had a visitor in the store. Because I embarrassed her, she threw down her nametag and walked out on me. A couple of days later, she called me to tell me that she just didn’t think I would have her do something in front of her company.

I suppose her company was far more important than the company that was paying her to be there. I’ve never encountered anything more stressful than having to explain to a friend that their termination was due to their lack of respect for me as their supervisor, and at the same time whisper “call me later girl.”
So I was left with a choice of either to do my job, since it does pay for my transportation, food on my table, and clothes on my back, or let situations slide and keep my friendship with this person. Then, I realize if that person was a true friend the way I thought she was, then she would understand that she not only had to respect me as a friend but also as their boss.

After all, I have yet to meet one single person who has offered to support me mentally or financially. So undoubtedly, my job has to come first, and friends should respect that, not abuse the situation. Once that respect is gone, then the friendship is obviously non-existent and the situation only raises the question of if they were ever friends at all. Unfortunately, because of situations like this and other reasons, I have almost entirely given up on the word “friendship”. I just think so many tend to take this one word and abuse it so much that the true meaning becomes lost and powerless. I wish I could say that I felt differently, but too many times I have experienced the old “stab in the back,” leaving me to wonder where everything went wrong.

Repeatedly I have tried to help not only with getting a job for others but with numerous other situations that I know my help would be of tremendous value in. Even though others tell me from the very beginning that too much help could be disastrous, and so many previous situations have proven them right, I still find myself doing what I can by being what others have labeled as a friend.

I suppose I might just be asking for it. Either way, if I help or if I don’t, true friends will be appreciative of whatever a person can offer, whether it be a job or just a listening ear and a shoulder one can lean on. When the ear and shoulder appear to be the same ear and shoulder and each and every time, then clearly this one-way friendship has run its course.

I don’t believe I’m what others would call “the perfect friend”. There are times I do what I can, but then there are times I’m far from perfection. The important thing is that I respect each and every one of my friends up to the things they think, say and the actions that they take. Those things are what make them who they are and why I ever had intentions of confiding in them and trusting that they will just be them and nothing more.

The job situation is just a small example of how friendships can crash so easily with such harmless intentions and how advice always tends to come in one ear and out the other just like a friend comes in one door and out forever.

Even though I say the word “friendship” is almost meaningless, I still advise to give all that you can. Whether the friendship proves to be worth it or not, the other person was able to put a smile on your face at least once. So I end this with this short-but-very-true text message I got from a from a friend the other night, “never regret anything that once made you smile.”